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As I sat and stared at the spectacle in front of me, I started to feel disgusted. What I was seeing and what I was feeling did not match up. This was supposed to be exciting and thrilling, yet it was empty and hollow. I wanted to leave and scour my soul clean, but I forced myself to stay. Over and over and over again this scene of human gratification continued. Seemingly, for hours it dragged on. “How could such a beautiful event be mutated into this travesty of love, joy and unity,” I wondered. Then someone handed me another present to open.
For years I have been growing disenfranchised with Christmas and particularly Christmas Day. The wonder that once came with the holiday does not come anymore. As I have grown, the anticipation of Christmas has been replaced by a rising dread and disillusionment.
I am fully aware of the religious meaning and significance behind Christmas and I believe them to be true. But, somehow the experience of the Christmas season is lost on me. For a holiday that is to be a time of peace, love and joy, it seems that it is anything but.
Working for one of the world’s largest discount retailers, I have heard horror stories that make Christmas look more like Halloween: Holiday shoppers brawling over parking spaces, people being pistol-whipped for game consoles, store employees being berated for not having the gifts shoppers demanded.
I can honestly say that I am about finished with “Christmas” and it has nothing to do with that jolly fat man! I am sick of the consumerism surrounding this extraordinary day. I am fed up with the “Merry Christmas,” versus “Happy Holidays,” debate. It seems Christmas is just another misunderstood religious celebration that even that church has forsaken.
The idea that Christmas is a make or break occasion dependent on getting or giving “that perfect gift,” is craziness. I am at the point of telling people not to get me anything for Christmas. On the other hand, I am at the point of not getting anything for anybody either, but I fear the response of not following through on tradition. I would rather spend my time and money helping the poor of our town. Spending what I would on gifts by buying food, socks and hoodies for the homeless. Maybe that would provide the fulfillment I have been longing for.
Christmas has almost lost its meaning for me. Yes, this is my fault, I own it entirely and something has to change. I can’t continue faking the holiday spirit for much longer.
In searching my soul for the genesis of this reaction toward the hollowness of my recent Christmases, I easily recall a similar emotional lair. This barrenness I experience with Christmas finds a kindred spirit in my experiences with pornography.
You see deep down I do like Christmas. Deep down I also like porn. Well, I should say that I like what society thinks Christmas and porn should be. Both are supposed to offer a frenzied level of excitement and pleasure. Both are about what I want. Both are about unreal expectations and a search for satisfaction. Sadly though, neither lives up to the hype.
Porn is supposed to be harmless. No one really gets hurt. It’s just good clean dirty fun. Only those who are weird or prudish avoid such entertainment. It is spouted as a perfectly normal aspect of human sexuality. But these thoughts, along with the greater populace’s view of Christmas are mistaken.
My desire for a Christmas experience that transcends the holiday leaves me looking into my bedroom for a cure to my ailing soul. If porn leaves me empty, then maybe within the bonds of my marriage and the security and unity it brings will be an answer to that “something” that has to change during Christmas.
Within the confines of godly marriage, sex can and should offer a “frenzied level of excitement and pleasure.” It can and should offer satisfaction. But it likewise should offer what porn does not, namely relationship and a giving of myself, not my stuff.
At it deepest roots Christmas is about God re-establishing his relationship with humanity through Jesus the Christ. It is about God reaching out to the people of the world throughout time and inviting us into a loving union with him.
If we could only comprehend the love that such an act took to accomplish, I believe Christmas would never turn sour. Unfortunately, God’s gift of his son has turned into an excuse for us to give presents and not our very soul to others.
It might sound trite and cliché to say that Christmas should be about giving and not getting, but I believe it is true. Christmas is not about giving gifts, but about giving ourselves! It is not about a season of the year, but about an attitude of sacrifice and humiliation. It is not about love of self, but love of others. When we only give from our wallets and not from the core of our being, our giving is meaningless and bare like pornography.
I hope this Christmas I can find a way to unwrap myself and give myself away to someone who simply needs human interaction…a friend…love. This type of gift transcends the typical Christmas present. God’s love is more needed and meaningful than some shirt, CD or power tool. A relationship of love through Jesus is more genuine than a one-night-stand with an airbrushed beauty and is more satisfying than the annual moments of merrymaking.
The Godhead modeled Christmas for everyone by giving himself to us and we should do the same. Maybe this year I can be God’s gift of love to someone.
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Rather odd, comparison to come up with, but true all the same.
My wife and I have been fighting the Christmas madness with our families for 7 years of marriage. Most have not understood our dilemma with such a "merry" occasion, but I truly don't want my children to endure the "orgy of greed" (as a movie once described the present unwrapping festivities). You see, I got a belt from my great-grandfather one year (I was probably 12 or so) and tears welled up in my eyes, for many reasons, amongst them that my younger brother received a toy truck, something I was still into.
So, not to overcompensate for something I haven't gotten over in my past, but in order to provide my own children (4yrs. and 5 mos. at time of writing) with a more focused holliday in the Christian tradition of remembrance of a child, we originally thought to move gift-giving to New Years' Day. However, what has seemed even better in past years was to open gifts on Saint Nicholoas' Day, Dec. 6th. Of course, that bumps things up, puts pressure on extended family, etc., but the tradition of gift-giving is more tied to the true (although perhaps slightly fabled) story of Saint Nicholas than of three wise-men. This then leaves Dec. 25th as an open day for family time, holiday baking and giving to the less fortunate in our community. Something to think about...
great article... honest...
Porn is about selfishness. So now is Christmas.
Unfortunately, the American Christian experience has turned to the same level. People 'go to church' for purely selfish reasons. Jesus has turned into Santa Claus. Followers of Jesus will have a hard time in the coming decade, since the majority of 'Christian' experience and church activity is about dispensing religious goods and services for a selfish, consumer-based group of people.
Hmmm... porn... Christmas... church???
crisbaj
Excellent article.... outstanding. I plan on forwarding this to everyone I know this holiday season, who can't seem to grasp why I love the music and the time with friends, and well the hot rum... but absolutely destest the big day when the presents start being opened and the orgy of materialism begins. Thanks for an outstanding comparison.
Great article. Thank you. I will also be forwarding this around when the season rolls around again.
We did an interesting thing as a family this past Christmas. First, we adopted a single mom and spent most of our normal amount on her and the baby. Second, we did buy gifts for us, but they were gifts FOR US. As in, things we had to do together. Clue. Fact or Crap (a trivia game). Texas Hold'em set. It was the best Christmas we've had in a long time.
I cannot say that I equate Christmas with porn. It maybe I have never made the connection because Christmas still means the celebration of the birth of Christ. I do not allow any commercialism to degrade those thoughts. Porn is still the degradation of the most beautiful of acts between a married couple, and I have yet to find anyone to persuade me otherwise.
The loss of Christmas meaning is as far as one's heart wants to be away from Christmas. Maybe, in the far recesses of one's heart, the love of porn and the love of Christmas are having a battle for supremacy. I implore you, do not let porn win.
I have to say the comparison is dead on. This actually sums up my feelings on both perfectly. Porn and Chirstmas have a lot in common when viewed this way. Both are empty vessels, but both sex and the birth of the saviour have so much to offer.
I find it interesting that so many of you are relating to this so deeply. I can make the connection in my mind, but not naturally. It seems like the author threw porn in to the article to attract an audience… which is reminiscent of the way that businesses use Christmas to increase sales. It’s all marketing, really.
Christmas is about the birth of Christ (no one is really going to argue against that). But, why do we need to dedicate one day/season to being especially selfless? Is this not how we are to live everyday?
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Rather odd, comparison to come up with, but true all the same.
My wife and I have been fighting the Christmas madness with our families for 7 years of marriage. Most have not understood our dilemma with such a "merry" occasion, but I truly don't want my children to endure the "orgy of greed" (as a movie once described the present unwrapping festivities). You see, I got a belt from my great-grandfather one year (I was probably 12 or so) and tears welled up in my eyes, for many reasons, amongst them that my younger brother received a toy truck, something I was still into.
So, not to overcompensate for something I haven't gotten over in my past, but in order to provide my own children (4yrs. and 5 mos. at time of writing) with a more focused holliday in the Christian tradition of remembrance of a child, we originally thought to move gift-giving to New Years' Day. However, what has seemed even better in past years was to open gifts on Saint Nicholoas' Day, Dec. 6th. Of course, that bumps things up, puts pressure on extended family, etc., but the tradition of gift-giving is more tied to the true (although perhaps slightly fabled) story of Saint Nicholas than of three wise-men. This then leaves Dec. 25th as an open day for family time, holiday baking and giving to the less fortunate in our community. Something to think about...
Posted by Dennis Wood | Posted at 06/02/2006 6:23 AMgreat article... honest...
Porn is about selfishness. So now is Christmas.
Unfortunately, the American Christian experience has turned to the same level. People 'go to church' for purely selfish reasons. Jesus has turned into Santa Claus. Followers of Jesus will have a hard time in the coming decade, since the majority of 'Christian' experience and church activity is about dispensing religious goods and services for a selfish, consumer-based group of people.
Hmmm... porn... Christmas... church???
crisbaj
Posted by crisbaj | Posted at 06/02/2006 3:57 PMExcellent article.... outstanding. I plan on forwarding this to everyone I know this holiday season, who can't seem to grasp why I love the music and the time with friends, and well the hot rum... but absolutely destest the big day when the presents start being opened and the orgy of materialism begins. Thanks for an outstanding comparison. Posted by Patrick Lane | Posted at 06/03/2006 9:02 AM
Great article. Thank you. I will also be forwarding this around when the season rolls around again.
We did an interesting thing as a family this past Christmas. First, we adopted a single mom and spent most of our normal amount on her and the baby. Second, we did buy gifts for us, but they were gifts FOR US. As in, things we had to do together. Clue. Fact or Crap (a trivia game). Texas Hold'em set. It was the best Christmas we've had in a long time.
Posted by John | Posted at 06/05/2006 5:37 AMI cannot say that I equate Christmas with porn. It maybe I have never made the connection because Christmas still means the celebration of the birth of Christ. I do not allow any commercialism to degrade those thoughts. Porn is still the degradation of the most beautiful of acts between a married couple, and I have yet to find anyone to persuade me otherwise.
The loss of Christmas meaning is as far as one's heart wants to be away from Christmas. Maybe, in the far recesses of one's heart, the love of porn and the love of Christmas are having a battle for supremacy. I implore you, do not let porn win.
Posted by 4WheelDrive | Posted at 06/05/2006 3:43 PMI have to say the comparison is dead on. This actually sums up my feelings on both perfectly. Porn and Chirstmas have a lot in common when viewed this way. Both are empty vessels, but both sex and the birth of the saviour have so much to offer. Posted by Chaser | Posted at 06/09/2006 7:14 PM
I find it interesting that so many of you are relating to this so deeply. I can make the connection in my mind, but not naturally. It seems like the author threw porn in to the article to attract an audience… which is reminiscent of the way that businesses use Christmas to increase sales. It’s all marketing, really.
Christmas is about the birth of Christ (no one is really going to argue against that). But, why do we need to dedicate one day/season to being especially selfless? Is this not how we are to live everyday?
Posted by Jackson | Posted at 06/27/2006 4:59 PM