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I stood outside the doors waiting with seven other men. We were all dressed in black. The mood was somber, but then, it almost always is. Especially when death knocks earlier than expected.
The doors broke open. The coffin emerged, and we took our positions. My friend in front of me had to throw his long black cape over his shoulder, and reposition his tall pointed hat upon his head. The amulets, and trinkets bounced off the patchwork of his cape. Behind me a tall young man in a tight black T-shirt emblazoned with occultic imagery, and a black leather coat took his place. As we made our way down the steps to the hearse, I had to kick aside the flowing cape, which filled the steps in front of me. I in my black pinstriped suit, and deep grey wool overcoat was one of two conservatively dressed men appointed to carry the casket. The six Witches, and Neo-Pagans were dressed in their regalia, and the one other conservatively dressed man was young. He wore a sharp black suit, a crisp black shirt and black tie, with one small round lapel pin - the symbol of the First Church of Satan.
What had brought me to this moment is the stuff fables are made of. The newspaper had announced this funeral with the words, "Witches Mourn Their King." I was a simple Christian Pastor, and somehow I felt at home.
We made our way to the back of the hearse, and together pushed the casket upon the rollers. Then together we watched the doors close.
The minutes before the casket arrived at the door, and came into our hands were surreal as any I've experienced. It was surreal that I was there. It was perhaps more surreal that I was comfortable. We stood and made small talk. The younger men looked out of sorts, as though this was a part of life yet unknown - some rite of passage only now being experienced - except for the young Satanist. He was calm, in control, and appeared familiar with the deeper moments of life. It was he who was considerate enough to suggest that we all greet, and learn each others' names. During those same moments, a close friend of the deceased, a large man with a severe limp adorned in a long black cape stood at the bottom of the stairs, and said ceremoniously to we eight pall-bearers, "Carry my friend with honor."
He repeated himself with conviction, and touch of sorrow, perhaps wishing he were healthy enough to play his part in the moment, "Carry my friend with honor." Between the wake the night before, and this day of the gravesite service hundreds of people had come. Some traveled from as a far as Canada to honor my deceased friend the High Priest of his little circle of a Salem variety of Witchcraft.
The services were decidedly witchy, filled with some of the pomp of Wiccan ceremony, and some of the drama of Halloween in Salem, Massachusetts, with cauldron, and blade, and broom, and skull.
For the two days of services I sat with my dead friend's mother. She, like myself, was a Pentecostal Christian. She grieved, and worried over the death of her son, and felt uncomfortable with the witchiness of the ceremonies, though she had seen it dozens of times by now. When it came to the conclusion of the gravesite service each person was given the opportunity to honor the deceased by taking a memory of his life, and ritually casting a pinch of salt upon the casket. She asked me if it was okay with God to do this. I leaned over and whispered to her, "I think God would like you to remember that you have been the salt of the earth in your son's life. Of course, it's okay." She cried, and limply tossed her grains of salt upon the gray metal box.
Few funerals in America have the output of emotion I experienced over these two days. People openly cried, and wailed, and expressed words of appreciation. This man barely 40 years of age had gathered this strange troupe together in his death, and I watched people from all walks of life: Christians, Witches, Atheists, and Satanists speak of their respect for him. There were many people who had been touched by his life, and felt that his help had been instrumental in their lives. One Christian spoke of her return to Christianity from Witchcraft, and stated that he had been instrumental in helping her find her way back to Jesus. This was the surrealism: Many people mourned him though he was a Witch, a Voodoo Practitioner, and even joined the ranks of Anton LaVey's Organization in his last years of life. To most people he lived beyond the pall. Yet to some he offered words of wisdom, and hope.
I consider the life of this strange man who died, and contrast it with a man who yet lives.
The man who yet lives is a Christian pastor I once served alongside. He says all the right things, and appears at cursory glance to be the model of citizenship. His dress is impeccable. His actions are sharp, and decisive. His ministry is successful by all appearances, but a deeper look reveals a dark underbelly of corruption. Subtle lies, clever manipulation, and political savvy are his trademark. He rules his little kingdom with an iron fist, and crushes those who refuse to labor under his heavy-handed control. Good pastors have been lost, churches have been dismantled, and reputations have been ruined under his guidance.
I wonder which life is more tiresome to the gracious Nazarene I serve. Which life is wearisomely beyond the pall?
I was strangely, but deeply honored to be asked to be a pall-bearer for my friend the Witch. Somehow I am ashamed to know the man who yet lives, and declares to serve my Jesus, and it makes me wonder what it is that only God can see beyond the pall-bearing.
Phil Wyman is Pastor of The Gathering in Salem, MA. You can find Phil blogging at philwyman, and squarenomore.
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I'm sorry that your friend died, but I really enjoyed reading this article. What a story!
Thanks Lydia, It's been a wild ride, and one which is continuing to develop gracious friendships with the Neo-Pagan commmunity. Prayers are welcome for our church as we navigate this together.
Your thoughts touched me deeply. I can't tell you how much it means to hear of other Christians who are not just paying lip-service to being "in the world", who are not simply meeting people "out there" for the purposes of "evangelism and outreach", but who are really, honestly making friends and developing relationships with people. Like Jesus did. For no other reason than to be a part of their lives and navigate life together.
There's not enough of it. There needs to be much, much more.
Summer, Thanks for the encouragement. There are times in which the slow hard road of serving those outside the mainstream becomes a lonely walk, but encouraging voices like yours are the people who cheer the marathon runner as he begins hit the wall.
Phil, I am also a church-planter. Like you, our priority has been to pursue relationships with people outside the small world of Christianity. Your article was an encouragement to continue to see every person throught the eyes of Jesus. Keep running the marathon...I'm in the race with you (probably a few milies behind!) Thanks and Be Blessed (Matthew 5:3-12)! (I've got a song I'd love for you to hear as an encouragement called "Carry On"...it's on the link if you click on my name...) Jim
Jim,
Thanks bro. Great song. I'm sure we're running side my side, but I'm also sure that there are more than 26 miles ahead of us.
Phil,
Most people in the mainstream don't appreciate the fact that most neo-pagans, Wiccans, etc have actually given deep consideration to questions of ultimate meaning, thought that the majority in society never get around to. I'm glad you know better, and show it with your life.
Adam,
Great point. It is true that most Neo-Pagans have thought out their spiritual decisions deeply.
"I wonder which life is more tiresome to the gracious Nazarene I serve. Which life is wearisomely beyond the pall?"
I suppose that depends on how God looks at such things. It looks like you've set it up as "wise, helpful toward others" versus "deceitful, corrupt" with the implication that the one who gave wise advice or was otherwise helpful to others is the one who is more pleasing to God. I'm sure you're not trying to make it that simple but that's the impression I get from the article.
Who did your friend say Christ is and what did he do about it? That's probably the first question I would ask in order to figure out how to answer your question. You say he was "a Witch, a Voodoo Practitioner, and even joined the ranks of Anton LaVey's Organization in his last years of life." I'm not sure why someone who has pledged their life in service to the King, Jesus Christ, would do such things but maybe there is something I don't know about the situation. However, if he has rejected Christ and chosen to serve another, I wonder how pleasing a person like this is to God no matter how many people appreciated him. I also do not know why this pastor would do the things he was doing if he is a Christian.
Rather than coming to the conclusion that the one is more pleasing to God than the other I would question whether either of them has enjoyed a restored relationship with God. Perhaps neither of them has. It comes down to how we answer the question, "how does one enjoy a restored relationship to God?" or "what makes one pleasing to God?" If its by engaging in good deeds such as touching peoples lives or being instrumental in people's lives or giving good advice to others then I suppose your friend is more pleasing to God than the pastor. If it is by some other means, as I believe we find in Scripture, then its difficult for me to see how your friend was more pleasing to God than the pastor, if that is what you're implying. I am not saying that the pastor is more pleasing to God, who knows, he might not be a Christian either.
If the point of the article is: those who we think of as "evil" or "sinners" can be good friends and lead seemingly good lives while those we think of as having it all together and a good Christian can be dirty, rotten, scoundrels then I totally agree. But that's probably as far as I can go. If something other than that is being implying, I'll have to disagree.
I loved reading this article, Pastor Phil. Your ending evaluation of the perfect pastor who crushed those beneath him is an accurate description of the pastor of a church I left five years ago, and those who served him. He also twisted, manipulated, over worked volunteers and was all about the money. When I came to him to ask him about my own spiritual questions, which were serious at the time, he never made an appointment with me regarding questions I had about Mormonism and the Missionaries who kept coming by on a weekly basis, and instead blacklisted me from many things I had signed up to help with; His son, the youth minister, blacklisted my children, by informing them behind the scenes that they did not "fit in" and should find another church. The women's group was very judgmental, literally giving me white glove tests on not only how clean my house was on surprise visits, but also on my tithing, how often my husband attended (he works weekends sometimes), and even what version of the Bible I used (I have several, including a large Strong's Exhaustive Concordance with Hebrew and Greek Dictionary). Finally one of the women successfully convinced another woman that she had the gift of discerning spirits, and could see "evil spirits surrounding" me "everywhere." They decided I was demon-posessed because I could not be a doormat. During this time, one of the girls in my women's church group and I drove past a "psychic parlour", and I commented, "Should we go in and share with her?" (meaning the psychic). "No way, she is pure evil. You will pick up bad spirits by even going in to her. Stay away from places like that!" was the woman's response - she used fear tactics to control others, and at the time I felt uneasy - her technique of manipulation worked on me as her other manipulative acts also had. How can it be, I thought, that Christ's Great Commission must be ignored because someone is doing something "non-Christian" - isn't that who we are sent to reach? "Seek and Save the Lost" was the Bible verse that kept running through my head, emphasis on "seek". The Christians I was with were not genuine in their faith. They were mean-spirited, and manipulative, judgmental and exclusionary. That is when I began looking into alternative, non-Christian religions. I learned Tarot, and wrote a book on it. I spend my weekends at a local metaphysical center, where many New-Agers, Wiccans, Druids, Native-American Shamen's and others actively teach, sell things, and socialize. I was surprised when many Buddhists, Hindu's and Wiccans secretly told me they prayed to Jesus, and believed in him. When I asked them if they knew what they would get for their faith, and they dumfoundedly said "no", with a look on their faces that said, "you mean I get something out of this???" I told them they don't have to stay dead and handed them small Gospels of John I had ordered. They were quite amazed to receive a gift from me, and even more impressed to find out they could escape death and the recycling process called reincarnation. Wow for both of us. I had no idea so many Pagans out there actually consulted with Jesus, and had no idea what he had to offer them. They had no idea Jesus came with Benefits, and could never speak to anyone about praying to him, except me, a psychic who would never meet anyone they knew, or even see me again. What else did I find there at the Metaphysical Center? The same thing you did at the funeral. A group of wonderful people, that, when in normal street clothing, could not be any more normal than the person you take communion next to. These people feel, need, love, and truely care. They gave me a kind of spirituality I desperately needed a the time: They told me that in a past life I was a princess and a priestess, someone lovely, wonderful and authoratitive; someone desirable. I was starving for this in church, but never got it there. Having run into some church people who had been cruel to me, I have told them I am "with the New-Agers now" being careful to phrase it so that I do not renounce Christ, but leaving them with the question, "was my example that bad?" because I hope they realize that as they have hurt me, they may hurt others who may really throw Christ out with the Baptism water. I am very thankful for these Pagans, they loved me as I should have been loved in Church. They, like the Mormons, had cared about me much more often than the church had for the many years I had attended and given money to support its mission. Yet not the church, but these "Pseudo" Christians and Pagans, were the ones who ministered to me as I died on the vine, praying for me with Mormon blessings, telling me about my past lives, and comparing my inner spirit to a wealth of beautiful Goddesses. Eventually, I stumbled across a University Survey of Witchcraft course on line, and was able to look up names of those set for Trial during Europe's Witch Trials, and found my own family name on the list. The people I found are listed at the right place, and time to exactly pre-date my earliest traceable ancestor, which I found thanks to the Mormons. These ancestors were not only accused, but confessed witches. One escaped, which leads to my life now. I'm a Christian. I love Christ with all my heart. He never left me, ever, during these times when the church I attended counted me as invaluable. And I never left Him either. Just the mean people. And the rest of the world which he created sent out love and care to me when I needed it most. I am connected with the Pagans, because of my own family history and because they reached out to me, and never asked me to change my inner faith. I want them to be treated as I want to be treated. With love and respect. They truely deserve it. Thank you Pastor Phill, for being a genuine minister to these very real people, and for not being afraid of them.
Jeff,
Thanks for the comments. I understand your interest in forming the question as "Who did he say Jesus is?" and somehow creating the answer here, but I tend to think of that as the oversimplification which you say I appear to be presenting.
You see, we have established proper theology (particularly in Theology Proper) as the final mark of what makes a person right with God. God, Who is the reader if the hearts of men obviously sees something different than we do, and a pastor's proper theological reference may simply be a mask over his deceptive, evil heart. A person deeply involved in "dark arts" may also have a heart different than their behavior might portend.
So rather than presenting a question which I am pretending to have an answer for, I am asking a question about an issue of the hearts of men, which only God can answer, and which we may have to allow to remain as a mystery until the day we see Him Who reads the hearts of those who are hot, cold and lukewarm, and distinguishes between them all.
Cynthia,
Thanks so much for telling your story here. It is good to see you at The Ooze. I hope we get to see more of you here. It's great to have you join us a Circle and Corss Talk as well.
Phil, I was deeply, deeply touched by your sharing. I have many many Neo-pagan friends. Truthfully, I want to copy your article, unaltered, and place it on my blog, giving your credit and the link back here......I have wanted to articulate these thoughts but get so choked up I cannot even begin! I moderate a crafty (like sewing and fiber arts....not THE craft LOL) group that is a majority of Neo-pagan folk. I actually like it that way. BTW...do we know the same pastor? me thinketh I have served with him??!!!! EEEWWW. wanita
Wanita,
You are more than welcome to use the article as you like. Good for you, and your Crafty crafters. Be grace and light where you are.
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I'm sorry that your friend died, but I really enjoyed reading this article. What a story! Posted by Lydia | Posted at 05/20/2007 6:20 AM
Thanks Lydia, It's been a wild ride, and one which is continuing to develop gracious friendships with the Neo-Pagan commmunity. Prayers are welcome for our church as we navigate this together. Posted by Phil Wyman | Posted at 05/20/2007 1:06 PM
Your thoughts touched me deeply. I can't tell you how much it means to hear of other Christians who are not just paying lip-service to being "in the world", who are not simply meeting people "out there" for the purposes of "evangelism and outreach", but who are really, honestly making friends and developing relationships with people. Like Jesus did. For no other reason than to be a part of their lives and navigate life together.
There's not enough of it. There needs to be much, much more.
Posted by Summer | Posted at 05/24/2007 7:45 PMSummer, Thanks for the encouragement. There are times in which the slow hard road of serving those outside the mainstream becomes a lonely walk, but encouraging voices like yours are the people who cheer the marathon runner as he begins hit the wall. Posted by Phil Wyman | Posted at 05/25/2007 7:06 AM
Phil, I am also a church-planter. Like you, our priority has been to pursue relationships with people outside the small world of Christianity. Your article was an encouragement to continue to see every person throught the eyes of Jesus. Keep running the marathon...I'm in the race with you (probably a few milies behind!) Thanks and Be Blessed (Matthew 5:3-12)! (I've got a song I'd love for you to hear as an encouragement called "Carry On"...it's on the link if you click on my name...) Jim Posted by Jim Black | Posted at 05/26/2007 6:36 AM
Jim,
Thanks bro. Great song. I'm sure we're running side my side, but I'm also sure that there are more than 26 miles ahead of us.
Posted by Phil Wyman | Posted at 05/26/2007 8:34 AMPhil,
Most people in the mainstream don't appreciate the fact that most neo-pagans, Wiccans, etc have actually given deep consideration to questions of ultimate meaning, thought that the majority in society never get around to. I'm glad you know better, and show it with your life.
Posted by Adam G. | Posted at 05/26/2007 1:32 PMAdam,
Great point. It is true that most Neo-Pagans have thought out their spiritual decisions deeply.
Posted by Phil Wyman | Posted at 05/26/2007 3:15 PM"I wonder which life is more tiresome to the gracious Nazarene I serve. Which life is wearisomely beyond the pall?"
I suppose that depends on how God looks at such things. It looks like you've set it up as "wise, helpful toward others" versus "deceitful, corrupt" with the implication that the one who gave wise advice or was otherwise helpful to others is the one who is more pleasing to God. I'm sure you're not trying to make it that simple but that's the impression I get from the article.
Who did your friend say Christ is and what did he do about it? That's probably the first question I would ask in order to figure out how to answer your question. You say he was "a Witch, a Voodoo Practitioner, and even joined the ranks of Anton LaVey's Organization in his last years of life." I'm not sure why someone who has pledged their life in service to the King, Jesus Christ, would do such things but maybe there is something I don't know about the situation. However, if he has rejected Christ and chosen to serve another, I wonder how pleasing a person like this is to God no matter how many people appreciated him. I also do not know why this pastor would do the things he was doing if he is a Christian.
Rather than coming to the conclusion that the one is more pleasing to God than the other I would question whether either of them has enjoyed a restored relationship with God. Perhaps neither of them has. It comes down to how we answer the question, "how does one enjoy a restored relationship to God?" or "what makes one pleasing to God?" If its by engaging in good deeds such as touching peoples lives or being instrumental in people's lives or giving good advice to others then I suppose your friend is more pleasing to God than the pastor. If it is by some other means, as I believe we find in Scripture, then its difficult for me to see how your friend was more pleasing to God than the pastor, if that is what you're implying. I am not saying that the pastor is more pleasing to God, who knows, he might not be a Christian either.
If the point of the article is: those who we think of as "evil" or "sinners" can be good friends and lead seemingly good lives while those we think of as having it all together and a good Christian can be dirty, rotten, scoundrels then I totally agree. But that's probably as far as I can go. If something other than that is being implying, I'll have to disagree.
Posted by Jeff Wright | Posted at 07/03/2007 10:32 AMI loved reading this article, Pastor Phil. Your ending evaluation of the perfect pastor who crushed those beneath him is an accurate description of the pastor of a church I left five years ago, and those who served him. He also twisted, manipulated, over worked volunteers and was all about the money. When I came to him to ask him about my own spiritual questions, which were serious at the time, he never made an appointment with me regarding questions I had about Mormonism and the Missionaries who kept coming by on a weekly basis, and instead blacklisted me from many things I had signed up to help with; His son, the youth minister, blacklisted my children, by informing them behind the scenes that they did not "fit in" and should find another church. The women's group was very judgmental, literally giving me white glove tests on not only how clean my house was on surprise visits, but also on my tithing, how often my husband attended (he works weekends sometimes), and even what version of the Bible I used (I have several, including a large Strong's Exhaustive Concordance with Hebrew and Greek Dictionary). Finally one of the women successfully convinced another woman that she had the gift of discerning spirits, and could see "evil spirits surrounding" me "everywhere." They decided I was demon-posessed because I could not be a doormat. During this time, one of the girls in my women's church group and I drove past a "psychic parlour", and I commented, "Should we go in and share with her?" (meaning the psychic). "No way, she is pure evil. You will pick up bad spirits by even going in to her. Stay away from places like that!" was the woman's response - she used fear tactics to control others, and at the time I felt uneasy - her technique of manipulation worked on me as her other manipulative acts also had. How can it be, I thought, that Christ's Great Commission must be ignored because someone is doing something "non-Christian" - isn't that who we are sent to reach? "Seek and Save the Lost" was the Bible verse that kept running through my head, emphasis on "seek". The Christians I was with were not genuine in their faith. They were mean-spirited, and manipulative, judgmental and exclusionary. That is when I began looking into alternative, non-Christian religions. I learned Tarot, and wrote a book on it. I spend my weekends at a local metaphysical center, where many New-Agers, Wiccans, Druids, Native-American Shamen's and others actively teach, sell things, and socialize. I was surprised when many Buddhists, Hindu's and Wiccans secretly told me they prayed to Jesus, and believed in him. When I asked them if they knew what they would get for their faith, and they dumfoundedly said "no", with a look on their faces that said, "you mean I get something out of this???" I told them they don't have to stay dead and handed them small Gospels of John I had ordered. They were quite amazed to receive a gift from me, and even more impressed to find out they could escape death and the recycling process called reincarnation. Wow for both of us. I had no idea so many Pagans out there actually consulted with Jesus, and had no idea what he had to offer them. They had no idea Jesus came with Benefits, and could never speak to anyone about praying to him, except me, a psychic who would never meet anyone they knew, or even see me again. What else did I find there at the Metaphysical Center? The same thing you did at the funeral. A group of wonderful people, that, when in normal street clothing, could not be any more normal than the person you take communion next to. These people feel, need, love, and truely care. They gave me a kind of spirituality I desperately needed a the time: They told me that in a past life I was a princess and a priestess, someone lovely, wonderful and authoratitive; someone desirable. I was starving for this in church, but never got it there. Having run into some church people who had been cruel to me, I have told them I am "with the New-Agers now" being careful to phrase it so that I do not renounce Christ, but leaving them with the question, "was my example that bad?" because I hope they realize that as they have hurt me, they may hurt others who may really throw Christ out with the Baptism water. I am very thankful for these Pagans, they loved me as I should have been loved in Church. They, like the Mormons, had cared about me much more often than the church had for the many years I had attended and given money to support its mission. Yet not the church, but these "Pseudo" Christians and Pagans, were the ones who ministered to me as I died on the vine, praying for me with Mormon blessings, telling me about my past lives, and comparing my inner spirit to a wealth of beautiful Goddesses. Eventually, I stumbled across a University Survey of Witchcraft course on line, and was able to look up names of those set for Trial during Europe's Witch Trials, and found my own family name on the list. The people I found are listed at the right place, and time to exactly pre-date my earliest traceable ancestor, which I found thanks to the Mormons. These ancestors were not only accused, but confessed witches. One escaped, which leads to my life now. I'm a Christian. I love Christ with all my heart. He never left me, ever, during these times when the church I attended counted me as invaluable. And I never left Him either. Just the mean people. And the rest of the world which he created sent out love and care to me when I needed it most. I am connected with the Pagans, because of my own family history and because they reached out to me, and never asked me to change my inner faith. I want them to be treated as I want to be treated. With love and respect. They truely deserve it. Thank you Pastor Phill, for being a genuine minister to these very real people, and for not being afraid of them. Posted by Cynthia | Posted at 09/15/2007 4:05 PM
Jeff,
Thanks for the comments. I understand your interest in forming the question as "Who did he say Jesus is?" and somehow creating the answer here, but I tend to think of that as the oversimplification which you say I appear to be presenting.
You see, we have established proper theology (particularly in Theology Proper) as the final mark of what makes a person right with God. God, Who is the reader if the hearts of men obviously sees something different than we do, and a pastor's proper theological reference may simply be a mask over his deceptive, evil heart. A person deeply involved in "dark arts" may also have a heart different than their behavior might portend.
So rather than presenting a question which I am pretending to have an answer for, I am asking a question about an issue of the hearts of men, which only God can answer, and which we may have to allow to remain as a mystery until the day we see Him Who reads the hearts of those who are hot, cold and lukewarm, and distinguishes between them all.
Posted by Phil Wyman | Posted at 09/16/2007 10:25 PMCynthia,
Thanks so much for telling your story here. It is good to see you at The Ooze. I hope we get to see more of you here. It's great to have you join us a Circle and Corss Talk as well.
Posted by Phil Wyman | Posted at 09/16/2007 10:27 PMPhil, I was deeply, deeply touched by your sharing. I have many many Neo-pagan friends. Truthfully, I want to copy your article, unaltered, and place it on my blog, giving your credit and the link back here......I have wanted to articulate these thoughts but get so choked up I cannot even begin! I moderate a crafty (like sewing and fiber arts....not THE craft LOL) group that is a majority of Neo-pagan folk. I actually like it that way. BTW...do we know the same pastor? me thinketh I have served with him??!!!! EEEWWW. wanita Posted by Wanita | Posted at 10/04/2007 8:14 PM
Wanita,
You are more than welcome to use the article as you like. Good for you, and your Crafty crafters. Be grace and light where you are.
Posted by Phil Wyman | Posted at 10/05/2007 4:29 AM