I'm so sorry.

I don't have any experience with this but I'll bump it to the top of the page so it will get more exposure.

And welcome to The Ooze!

I can't really comment on divorce, having no experience with it. I'm married (and have been for 21 years now... although that have been times I've wanted to kill my wife! ;) )

However, I have come from a split home. My parents got divorced, so - at least from a certain point of view - I can relate.

I'm not too sure what to think about you blogging about your experiences.
Although I believe it is good to get some of these struggles and "dark moments" out into the "light of day", I would tend to be more of the mindset to get past it and move on (I know, I know! Easier said than done). It just strikes me as hanging onto something that is neither constructive, positive, or ... healthy.

How do you find blogging about your experiences/feelings/dark moments?

Quite frankly, this blog drives me crazy.

sorry, child of divorce.

sarah said:

Quite frankly, this blog drives me crazy.

Why Sarah?

The author is being so passive-aggressive that I feel like I almost got hives just reading it. "The Pot Calling the Kettle Black" is a good example.

sarah said:

The author is being so passive-aggressive that I feel like I almost got hives just reading it. "The Pot Calling the Kettle Black" is a good example.

I know. I get the same feeling.
I can't help but wonder if this blog is really putting his ex 'on trial' before a faceless public - being the perpetual victim. (Some points in this particular post were redundant, weren't they? The relationship's over. It doesn't matter anymore.) Again, I say, move on.
I get the idea of putting one's thoughts, emotions, and feelings 'on paper', but this blog doesn't have to be open to the general public. A journal or diary generally is completely private and for completely private reasons.

The guy is hurting and he is trying to sort out his feelings. Turning inward to the exclusion of most things around you is common; part of the process. I would agree that perhaps it might be better for public consumption if it focuses on the author's feelings and journey of healing apart from the ex.

Thanks to all for your feedback. Please understand that all names have been changed in my blog in order to protect the privacy of those described. For those who break out in hives ;) from frustration at the "passive-aggression" and "trial before a faceless audience", I would like to explain that my blog is not a quest for a trial, merely an expression of deep pain, real anger, confusion, denial, disbelief, and so many other emotions and states of mind. To truly understand, you would have to experience these things for yourself. The feedback is not received with offense. Rather, I am grateful for the various perspectives that are reflected here. Thank you all, again. More!

I've been reading a few of these at a time and I sometimes just find them sad. But in my professional opinion as a pastor, I would say, unless your pastor has specific work in marriage counseling, don't count too much on them for counseling. I think one of the worst things those of us in the pastorate do is try to be good at things we have no business doing.

That said, I find your musings interesting at times. You seem more focused on fixing her than anything else. I believe its best that the only person we can change is ourselves, which changes how we interact with others.

I don't know what I want to say about it just yet, as its late and my mind is fading, but I think this is the most important part of your blog: " She went on to explain that she doesn't FEEL love for me and then became really annoyed when I asked, "But isn't love an act of our will, not a feeling?" She became angry and said that we have "sat under bad teaching" and that her feelings are real, and that Pastor had told me that that is part of my problem - that I "dismiss" her feelings. I went on to state that I disagree with her and wanted to know how she could possibly think that feelings were a reliable gauge of love..."